Holy Guacamole

Once upon a time in the Kingdom Ruled by God there was a Happy Happy Princess with a flying horse named Ponya Omonia. One day it was getting to be about lunch time and the people of the land were hungry. They were really hungry in fact because they didn’t eat breakfast.

The food was on top of Mount Barabadu through the underbrush of Scarydipity. There in the underbrush of Scarydipity all manner of creatures lived, snakes, bears, coyotes, cougars, slugs and kitties. It was a frightening place to go. Some of the people of the land ventured in, but soon came running back out, pulling their heads and arms into their shirts like a turtle. The people of the town were so afraid they wouldn’t even look at the mountain, and by lunch time they had forgotten it was there and even forgotten they were hungry.

All that is except for the Happy Happy Princess. She knew God wanted her to eat. She also knew God wanted the people in the kingdom to eat too. She could see them all wandering about town holding tortilla chips, but they didn’t know what to do with them since they had nothing to dip them in.

Just then Ponya Omonia flew by with great news. On the top of Mount Barabadu she saw a great big bowl of Holy Guacamole. All that was left was to climb up the mountain and get it. She couldn’t fly them up because the underbrush of Scarydipity made it too hard to land. So they would have to climb.

The first time they started they reached the underbrush of Scarydipity at the foot of the mountain. They climbed up the first hill and looked down into a gully of tangled brush.
“What animals do you think live down there?” The Happy Happy Princess asked.
They stood there looking afraid to move for a while. Then they heard the voice of God calling, “Come farther in and farther up.”

It was like he was inviting them to the dinner table, his voice was sweet and welcoming. Ponya Omonia gave the Happy Happy Princes a nudge with her muzzle, and up they started climb.

The Happy Happy Princesse Zigged up the side of the mountain. The Happy Happy Princess Zagged up the mountain. Ponya Omonia zagged up the mountain. Ponya Omonia zagged up the mountian. Between stacks of snarled brush they zigged. Up sandy paths they zagged.

“My leggs are getting wobbly,” the Happy Happy Princess declared. Her legs didn’t want to move any more, they didn’t want to go up the mountain. Ponya Omonia looked over the side of the path. It was a long ways down. Her knees started to shake.

God’s voice came again. “Walk fearlessly my princess, Walk fearlessly my Ponya.”

So they stood up again and the looked farther in and farther up. It wasn’t far now. They pushed on. The Happy Happy Princess lifted up her leg and put it down in front of her. She put her hand on her knee and pushed her body up so her other leg came up too. She lifted and push, lifted and pushed.

Ponya Omonia made a steady, hard clop, clip, clop. Some times pushing the Happy Happy Princess up with her nose. For it is not good to climb a mountain alone.

Soon they were at the top of Mount Barabadu their fear was gone, and they hungered for the good things again. The Holy Guacamole was there, Ponya Omonia spread her wings and balanced the great bowl on her back and down the paths they slid.

When they got to the bottom the people at in the town looked up at them. The realized they were holding chips in their hands and looked back at the Guacamole. The surrounded The Happy Happy Princess and Ponya Omonia.

The happy Happy Princess no longer felt wobbly in her legs, the felt strong. Ponya Omonia no longer felt weak in the knees, instead her legs felt powerful. They had climbed Mount Barabadu, they had gone through the underbrush of Scarydipity, the had braved the wild animals, and walked God’s fearless path. They brought down the Holy Guacamole and reminded all the people to hunger for good things.

Hebrews (12:11-14) says:

11Now, discipline always seems painful rather than pleasant at the time, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

12 Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, 13and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed.